As a wedding planner/ officiant I have had the privilege of participating in dozens of weddings. Every wedding I am a part of is deeply personal to me. I am
cursed blessed with a combination of deep compassion, sentimentality and a strong sense of justice. If anything goes wrong on a wedding day, I am deeply disturbed. I ache for the bride who has dreamt of this day her whole life. One thing I have learned is that with careful planning, many catastrophes can be avoided.
I am going to share with you some tips for an absolutely flawless wedding day.
1) I appeal to you: have a
rehearsal. I know that it costs more and many officiants don't want to do them because they could be doing a wedding during that time, but I assure you that with everything that goes into making that day amazing, it's worth the few extra bucks. It buys you peace of mind knowing exactly how everything will go. When a couple opts not to have a rehearsal, it almost always shows. Invest in a good officiant, your entire ceremony lies in his/her hands.
2) If anything can go wrong... it's often the
music. Please make sure your directions are clear. Music is such a vital part of the wedding it's best to use a professional DJ. Rehearse with him/music whenever possible. I don't have a problem with people opting to use their iPods but you need to have someone who knows how to run it. And PLEASE have them fade the music out not just shut if off.
3) If you can hire a
wedding coordinator even just for the day, it will be worth every penny. If not, at least delegate everything you can to family & friends. Try not to give yourself ANYTHING to do on the wedding day... other than get gorgeous and meet your man at the altar.
4)
Backwards plan. My husband is so good at getting us to every place on time and it's because he is a pro at backwards planning. If your wedding is scheduled to start at 3:00 then you start from there. You literally begin your planning from the, "I Do"s and go backwards. For example:
3:00 wedding
2:00 Arrive at church
means we need to leave by 1:30 (include time to get loaded in the car, etc. It always takes forever
to just get out the door)
12:30 Be Ready and take photographs
12:00 get into dress & accessorize
11:00 Makeup
10:00 Hair
9:30 Arrive at hotel.
Planning this way will make sure that you are on a schedule. That should keep you on time and stress free knowing exactly how much time you have for everything. Build in extra time if you can.
It's always better to have more time needed than less. Please don't be late. Your wedding guests will probably arrive early and it's very important not to keep them waiting not to mention all your vendors.
5) Take care of mundane tasks early. If you can sign your
marriage certificate before the wedding (maybe even at your rehearsal) do it and get it out of the way. Things will get busy, you will be anxious to celebrate and it will seem like a bother to have to worry about details later. But signing your paperwork is big deal... you're not married without it.
6) Don't try to memorize anything. If you wrote your own vows, have the officiant hand them to you on a piece of paper so you can read them. If you have a special toast, write it down and give it to someone you can trust to give it to you at the proper time. That's what I mean by
delegate: your friends and family will be happy to help with anything, let them.
7) Pack early and be organized. If you are not an organized person by nature, get help. Make lists and get started early. Believe it or not I have seen brides forget their wedding dress. How does that happen? You should have a
checklist of everything you need. Pack everything you possibly can early and have it ready to go. Make sure you include an emergency kit: sewing kit, toupee tape, scissors, hemming tape, chalk, Tide-to go sticks, dental floss, clear nail polish, antacids, pain reliever, bandages, breath mints, etc. You can buy a great kit that is already to go here:
The Wedding Depot8) Eat and Drink. The day will be busy. Nerves and excitement may be more than you can even anticipate... you need to be at your best. That means taking good care of yourself. You have to
eat and drink plenty of water. You just won't feel well of you don't.
9) Remember what's important: you are marrying the man you want to share your life with. All you really need is him and the officiant. Everything else is just a bonus. If something goes wrong, keep it in perspective, you will still
be married at the end of the day. Please keep a good sense of humor. Some little things that go wrong make for charming stories later on. Nothing has to ruin your most special day if you don't let it.
10) Be in the moment! In the blink of an eye it will all be over. Don't just spend time entertaining everyone else but spend time with your new husband. Listen to your ceremony and vows. Eat the food. Drink the wine. Hear the music. Take a moment just to stop and breathe and
take it all in.
One final note: the wedding is one momentous day in your life. I hope it is everything you ever dreamed it could be. But once it's all over, the real work begins. I am even more passionate about marriage than I am about weddings... but that's another blog post altogether. Just remember the take responsibility for making your
marriage work and when the grass seems greener on the other side (and at some point it probably will) just water your own lawn.
Gina is owner of
A Time Like This Weddings in Washington State
Photo credit to
Heather Lynn Photographie and TraLa Studios
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